At only 20,000 words, I know it's too early to be this hyped...but GUYS I love this story so much!!! And I want you all to love it too!! So I decided to give you a little glimpse at what I'm working on.
"A New Name" is a futuristic/dystopia story based on the Biblical book of Daniel. In it, the main character, Danielle (or Ranilla...which she later changes to Ray for reasons you will see) is taken from her home in the Outside and thrust into the godless system of the City. She is joined by Shana, Mishia, and Abendy in her steady and faithful obedience of her Savior. When this faith is forced into the open, she doesn't back down like the Authorities hope, but instead stands firm against all persecution.
Is it perfect? *snorts* Of course not. I mean, come on! When has an author's first draft EVER been perfect? (Especially when its not even finished!) Yeah, that's right, never.
But do I think it's worth a special introductory blog post? Absolutely. If you don't follow me on Pinterest and are a fellow pinner, be sure to find me on there...because I save lots of pictures and quotes on there for "A New Name" and most of my other stories. If you aren't a fellow pinner (good for you! Stay strong! Resist the urge!) I'll include some of my favorite pictures and quotes from my storyboard in amongst the snippets.
Also, if you haven't seen this post come up in your feed, I wrote a Beautiful People post on my main character Ranilla over at my writing blog. So be sure to check out that after reading this. ;)
Alrighty, let's jump right in with the very beginning of my book: the prologue. Ready?
My name was
Danielle. I watched it form soundlessly on my parents’ lips as I was dragged
away. The pain of losing my parents left me helpless in the arms of a city officer.
I watched my fear of the future mirrored in their own eyes, and the anger held toward
a government who would dare take unwilling children from the arms of their
loving parents.
The burly officer shoved me into the back
of his sleek, black car and wrestled the seatbelt around my flailing arms.
“Please let me stay!” I begged, the tears
streaming down my face and dropped off only to melt into my dark clothes.
“I don’t want to go away!”
No one answered me. The car started and
pulled away from my house. I felt deep down inside that I would never see my
dad and mom again. The tears continued to flow and I covered my face and let
myself weep. I ceased to struggle, knowing it was hopeless.
In all my fifteen years, I had never
prayed as earnestly as I did now. God, I don’t understand why You’re letting
this happen. Please tell me. I need the assurance that You’re still with me,
even in the midst of this nightmare. You’re all I have now.
During a moment of sweetness that I had
never known, I heard a quiet voice assuring me, I am all you need.
Peace enveloped me in the silence that
followed. I sat; suddenly still, overwhelmed by what had just happened. God had
spoken to me out loud for the first time in my life. I wasn’t alone.
God, why
did you let this happen? I cried heavenwards, my eyes shut against reality...the reality that, at this point,
was still a definite blue color. The cold glass, pressed against my forehead,
did little to erase the frown that refused to leave my face.
I tried the name again. Ranilla…R-a-n-i-l-l-a…slowly,
I spelled it out, and then said it slower. “Ranilla,” I whispered aloud.
Suddenly, a smug grin pulled at the side of my mouth and I snuck a look at the
officer sitting in the front seat. He wasn’t watching me at all.
A thought had occurred to me while
whispering my name. The government might cheat me of my family and given name,
but I could take a little back of my own by stretching the rules. I could make
this name into a Christian name. An undercover, disguised Christian name. I
almost bounced in my seat, so full of glee at the thought.
“Ray,” I whispered in triumph. “I’ll be
Ray for short. I’ll be God’s Ray of sunshine in this dark world. With His
strength, I’ll part the cloud of evil around me. Through me, His light can
shine on others.”
With this new name came a new resolve. A
new mission. Already, the pain of losing my parents faded into a dull ache. I
would do them proud by standing for what I knew was right. Shutting my eyes, I
smiled. Oh, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy…but I knew God would be with me.
With Him, who would stand against me?
The overwhelming loneliness crashed over
me as soon as the door shut behind me in my temporary home. While I waited for
the adoption center staff to bring my old clothes back, the tears I had
swallowed down poured out along with my despair. Doubt and fear assailed me in
a flood that threatened to drown any ounce of faith I still held.
So
I did the one thing that always calmed me down.
I
prayed.
I
stepped inside and absorbed my surroundings. A bed took up most of the wall on
my right side, and a nightstand next to it. A desk, a dresser, and a smaller
door I assumed was my closet filled the opposite side. All the furniture and
accessories were tasteful shades of blues, greens, grays, and browns. Facing me
was a window that gave me a gorgeous view of the Outside. Tears stung my eyes
and I walked to the window, basking in the familiar landscape I missed so very
much.
I
heard Cade join me and turned to him. “This room… I love it.”
For
the first time since meeting my new brother, I saw Cade smile. “Good.” He swept
his arm in an expressive motion around my bedroom’s contents. “I’m sorry it’s
so...” he struggled for the right word.
“Masculine?”
I supplied.
“I
was going to say manly,” he said with a shrug, “but close enough.”
I
had noticed the gender-specific decorations. “I don’t mind. Blue and green are
my favorite colors.”
Cade
pulled the metal desk chair from where it sat tucked away and sat in it the
wrong way, crossing his arms across the backrest. “It used to be my brother’s
bedroom.”
“So do you get a gorgeous view too?”
“Like
in my bedroom?”
I
nodded. “I’d hate to have the better room. After all, I’m kind of an imposter.”
“You’re
not an imposter!” Cade was quick to say.
I
shot him one of my most expressive looks that had gotten me in trouble before
at the adoption centers. “Right. And my ancestor’s are apes.”
“Aren’t
they?” Cade gave me a crooked grin.
“Wow.
Way to compliment a girl, Cade!” I shook my head and headed toward the door.
“And if you get me started on creation versus the theory of evolution debate,
we’ll be here all night – possibly all week depending on how prepared you are
to defend the theory of evolution – and we’re supposed to be eating lunch next,
right?”
Cade’s
face turned a satisfactory shade of dark pink and he slunk over to the doorway.
“I’m really good with words, huh?” He shoved his hands deep into his jeans’
pockets and sighed. “Sorry.”
I
had to smile. “It’s ok.”
“Friends?”
My new brother did his best puppy-dog eyes imitation.
“For
now,” I yielded with a laugh.
Cade
extracted a hand from the depths of his jeans and stuck it towards me. “It’s
been a pleasure, Ranilla, I look forward to having you as a part of our
family.”
I
rolled my eyes. “Please don’t call me Ranilla. It’s not my name, and I don’t
like it. At all.”
One
eyebrow lifted, expressing volumes. “So…what should I call you?”
“Well,
since it’s technically illegal to be called by my real name, Ray will have to
do.”
“Ray
it is then,” Cade answered, doffing an imaginary cap to me. “Shall we go?”
“Age
before beauty.”
“Ladies
first.”
“Oh,
please,” I scoffed.
“At
this rate we’ll both end up in trouble for being late for lunch,” Cade warned.
“Mom gets touchy about that.”
I
gave a solution by pulling my new brother through the door at the same time as
me and we ended up in a pile on the floor just outside, laughing until our
stomachs hurt.
“Dex?”
“Hello,
Mother.”
As
he bent down to hug her, the familiar scent of the perfume she always wore was
as comforting as the feeling of her arms around his neck. No matter how old he
became, nothing would ever make him feel safer than being in his mother’s arms.
Cade came back and sat down. “Mom has
someone in the living room waiting to meet you,” he said with just enough
mystery to leave my curiosity begging for more.
“Oh?”
I feigned indifference. “Can they wait until I’ve finished my sandwich?”
Perhaps I was still holding on to the hope that this was all a nightmare, but
this was beginning to feel like one of those dreams where you’re trying to eat
something and you never really get around to doing it because other things keep
happening to you.
“Can
you wait until after you’ve finished
your sandwich?” he asked with a grin.
He
was far too perceptive for his own good. “I’m starving,” I said.
“I
have a feeling that hasn’t stopped your curiosity before.”
I
set down my food and sighed. “That’s just not fair. How could you possibly know
that?”
Cade
waved around his hands in the air, and then snapped his fingers. “Magic,” he
answered, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.
I
rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I give up.”
He
stood up and walked toward the door. “Coming?”
My
sandwich could wait. My curiosity couldn’t. Cade had guessed right about me.
“Yes,” I answered in defeat. “I’m coming.”
His sister knelt by the window, her face
raised to the sunshine pouring in pointing toward the Outside, and her eyes
closed. Confused, Dex opened the door a little more. Now that he was closer, he
strained his ears to hear what she was murmuring to herself.
“…I
pray again that You would help me be strong. I don’t know what Your plan is for
me, and why You chose to have me brought here, but I know that whatever
happens, I want it to bring glory to Your name.”
Even
more befuddled, Dex frowned and let the door swing open more. What was she
doing? Was his adopted sister a raving lunatic? Or worse, someone who still
practiced the ancient ways of sorcery? Was she trying to call forth some spirit
of the dead? He gave an involuntary shiver.
“I
pray for the other Christians in the City,” she continued, “and I pray for the
Christians who are still safe in the Outside. Keep my parents safe from
whatever forces of evil surround them.” Her voice broke here and she cleared
her throat before continuing, “I don’t know how You work, but I pray that
somehow, You can let them know that I’m safe and doing my best to be strong no
matter what, just like they taught me.”
Dex
pulled out his recording device to catch the next part.
“This
family You put me with…I don’t know what to think about them yet.”
He
froze, thinking maybe she was now talking to him. When she didn’t turn around,
he lifted his finger off the button that would stop the recording and let it
continue to document her words.
“They
seem nice, and maybe I can get used to the idea of living with complete
strangers, but I ask You to help me reach out to them and save them from Your
wrath. They need to know the truth so badly. Help me be Your light in this
family who need You so very desperately. Help me show them how much they need
You. Help me turn their hearts to You. Amen.”
He was sure the book, whatever it was,
would put his new sister under suspicion. After all, if it wasn’t forbidden or
illegal, why would she hide it? Dex pulled the book out from under its plump
sanctuary and looked at the cover.
The
title made him frown in confusion again. Love
Rekindled. The picture behind the words made him raise an eyebrow. A couple
stood in front of some kind of old-fashioned house with roses growing up the
sides. The man, of course, was unrealistically handsome with rippling muscles
showing through his tightly fitting business suit, and the lady, likewise, was
far too beautiful for her own good.
A
romance novel? Why was Ray hiding that? On a whim, he opened the book at a
random page. After glancing toward the door to make sure his brother wouldn’t
stumble across him reading a romance, he began to read.
Sustain
me with cakes of raisins,
Refresh me with apples,
For I am
lovesick.
His left hand is
under my head,
And his right hand embraces me.
I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
Do not stir up nor awaken love
Until it pleases.
The voice of my beloved!
Behold, he comes
Leaping upon the mountains,
Skipping upon the hills.
My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
Behold, he stands behind our wall;
He is looking through the windows,
Gazing through the lattice.
“What?”
Dex mumbled aloud as he read the first thing he saw. “Not only is that weird,
but creepy too.” Against better judgment, he flipped a page and kept reading.
Behold, you are
fair, my love!
Behold, you are
fair!
You have
dove’s eyes behind your veil.
Your hair is
like a flock of goats,
Going down from Mount Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep
Which have come up from the washing,
Every one of which bears twins,
And none is
barren among them.
Your lips are like a strand of scarlet,
And your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
Are like a
piece of pomegranate.
Your neck is like the tower of David,
Built for an armory,
On which hang a thousand bucklers,
All shields of mighty men.
Dex
shuddered. “It’s getting weirder and weirder.” After reading the next two lines
his face flushed bright pink and he closed the book with a thud. “Ok, that was
too much information. I did not need
to know that.” He shoved the romance novel back under Ray’s pillow with a
grimace. “Ew. Girls like the weirdest stuff. One thing I’ve learned from this
little escapade: never again will I read a romance. Gross.”
At the sound of footsteps making their way up the stairs, he
hurriedly tried to fix the bed covers around the pillow and where he had sat
down. He tiptoed as fast as he could over to the closet and pretended to be
look around on the floor.
(Editor's note: Kudos to you who recognized the excerpts from A Song of Solomon...if you didn't, that's ok. I don't really read that book of the Bible either. XD)
Which was your favorite snippet? Favorite quote? Who is your favorite character so far? Let me know in the comments below!
